Sasquatch Message Part 2
- Sparkling Diamond
- Aug 1
- 13 min read
It's been an interesting week or so since I wrote my last blog post...I had mentioned about someone offering me a vehicle...the transfer took place last week on the 23rd and 24th and I could hardly believe that I had wheels again! It's been 5 months to the week!
On the 25th I went to town to apply at a job that interested me the most. After that I went to a new park and explored. It was a very warm day in the 90°'s so it was nice to be in the woods. Here's a few photos...
On Saturday the 26th, I went to another town to apply at another job and when I was almost there I was waiting at the light behind another vehicle and the license plate frame got my attention. It said, My spirit animal is: SASQUATCH. I literally laughed out loud because it seemed like a sign because this was the third time in the week I had seen Sasquatch themes. The first one was on Monday when I had biked to the park and then being hungry I visited a small store I had never entered before and as I was browsing I caught sight 2 Sasquatch figures standing on the edge of the deli counter. The 2nd time was the day before when I was finding my way home from the new park I had explored and caught sight of a Sasquatch family of cutouts on the side of someone's shed. And then here right in front of me was another Sasquatch. Pondering these 3 incidents and where I find myself on life's journey currently I began to wonder if perhaps I have been guided my entire life to come to this place. How else would I have ended up in this state that happens to be very near the top of the list of Sasquatch sightings of the entire US? It just seems very much like there's something to this potentiality...
After getting myself some food and requesting an application despite the negative feelings I was having just in case, I stopped at the state park on the way home. I sat at the picnic table to eat my food, impatient to get into the woods but enjoying nature around me nonetheless. With it being summer there were a number of people around so it was a bit disturbing.
There is a certain place where I like to sit off the beaten path near the water. I have also found myself starting to pick up trash so I did that at this spot before sitting down to enjoy the scene. I sat there awhile enjoying the birds and nature around me. It was so beautiful and peaceful.
There were a lot of dragonflies flying around so I watched them for awhile. Next I noticed a white feather floating along on the ripples. After a taking a few photos I watched it float out into the open lake and then for whatever reason I remembered how I had brought my friend to this park last year and on a certain trail when we were walking back to the vehicles there was the loud cracking of a branch but there was no one else in sight on the open woods around us. At the moment we were talking about fairies and elves and the noise scared us. I said that I had my pepper spray along in case I needed it but in pondering the experience I knew that I knew deep down at the time that pepper spray would be ineffective to ward off a being from another dimension but I was too much in denial still at that time to fully grasp that fact. As I sat there I realized that it actually could have been a Sasquatch because they are known for breaking branches and throwing sticks and stones. Most times it's done in self defense if they happen to get caught in this dimension or they're trying to scare away people who aren't ready to interact with them. Other times it's done for fun...
Now with all I had been learning about Sasquatch and experiencing in healing and other ways I thought it was interesting that I remembered that incident and also that I had 3 incidents in the last several days with Sasquatch themes as well, I felt curious about what would happen if I walked that trail today? Would I meet a Sasquatch or have some other interesting experience? The heat was draining my energy but I decided to go slowly and see what I experience...
It was a distance to walk but I anticipated that it wouldn't be in vain. I made my way slowly enjoying the companionship of nature around me, sending love and good intentions to the animals that I accidentally scared. As I got to the edge of the woods where the section of trail started I sat down to rest while enjoying the lake view and the slight breeze that felt good. A biker came off the trail and stopped to enjoy the view as well. It was a guy which made me a bit nervous so I soon got up and entered the woods hoping he won't follow me. I soon got distracted with the trees and the peacefulness of nature around me. The more I learn about the wisdom and consciousness of birds and plants and animals the more I see them as beings to be respected and loved, and as I walked slowly, reverently, in this space I became overwhelmed with emotions that I couldn't really name. I tend to talk to the trees and sometimes animals as I see them but I got so choked up that I couldn't talk. The best I can name the emotions are those of awe, love, appreciation and gratefulness. I also felt very connected as though I was surrounded by a crowd of loving beings. I was about 3/4 of the way down the trail and had just audibly whispered to the trees how beautiful they are and how much I love them when a voice said in my head,
You are just as beautiful as the trees.
It caught me so off guard that it nearly stopped me in my tracks. I had this sense of a protecting being near me observing, almost like a friend walking beside me. My first thought in response was that if I see the trees as equals with consciousness(which I do) that would mean we are on the same level and I'm just as beautiful as them. It was such a a new thought that I had to shelve it in the back of my mind for the rest of the day to ponder it. Later in the evening I was able to think about it consciously some more and realized that once again I had been subconsciously seeing myself as less than. Less than the beautiful trees that I was enjoying. Less than the birds and animals. It is the result of a childhood of feeling like an object who's only purpose is to be used for other's pleasure and kicked around at the whim of whomever wishes to do so with no choice of my own. It is something that I will continue to work on healing because in reality we are all equal. No one is above or below another in any way.
On the way back I remembered another trail nearby that last year I had been too scared to go on because there was a lot of underbrush and I don't like when I can't see around me. I decided to try it again stretching myself a bit and...I actually wasn't scared and decided that I will go slowly and if a part of me gets scared for some reason I will turn back. It was a good distance before underbrush gave way to beautiful open forest and being hungry I found a log to sit on to eat the rest of my popcorn left over from lunch, thinking that if a Sasquatch being shows up I will share some with them because I know now that some of them like popcorn.
I sat there for quite awhile enjoying the peacefulness of the forest despite the noise from campers, hikers, and swimmers around me in the distance including some not so relaxing music carried on the breeze. All in all it was a beautiful experience and it really did feel good to be in a better place where I could face some fears so to speak that I had had before...
I had started rereading the Sasquatch book series because I wanted to understand more than I did in the first time of reading them because I tend to read/skim quite fast so I don't grasp everything. I've been working on reading slower so part of the practice is rereading them. There was one part where it was talking of the eldest Sasquatch's mate being buried and her soul moving on and for some reason it felt like somehow I remembered her hug from another lifetime. That was very unique!
In reading I came across an exercise where it was suggested to go out in nature near trees and water to work on the first part as the energies of nature can help to bring some of the buried things to the surface to deal with. I felt it would be helpful to do, you know, anything that will help me heal on an even deeper level always draws my attention...so the next day, the 29th, I went to the park near my house that I had biked to several times where I was drawn to a spot that jutted out into the water and had several trees on it. It wasn't as secluded as I wished as someone had trimmed the grass and I got interrupted by some fishermen but they didn't stay too long. I almost had to laugh though after I got over my fear because it seemed like the fish knew when they came near and stopped jumping for their breakfast, meaning the surface of the water grew quiet whenever the fishermen came close. I don't think they caught anything and I was glad for the fish. Perhaps they sensed my alarm when I heard them coming and stayed out of sight till they left because after a bit the water started rippling again. In the process I also discovered that I was sitting very near to a Robin's nest and now and then the babies would peak out.
The exercise part to do in nature had 4 parts. The first step was to make a list of all the things that I felt had negatively impacted my life from parents, teachers, etc. Anything that I felt still affected me. The next step was to make a list of all the things that I aspired and desired for that hadn't come to fruition in my life yet. The third step was to make a list of the physical reasons that kept me from attaining the things I desired to attain so far in my life. The fourth step was to list any thought forms and beliefs that I now realized were no longer helpful for me now. This was a hard one and I felt such a sadness and heaviness almost like grief. It was hard to shake even when I was done but trying to ground myself helped a bit and I was able to enjoy the rest of my time in nature before heading home.
I kept pushing off the rest of the exercise because it had already been such heavy work and I wanted a break. I couldn't really focus on anything and I felt like I was being pushed to do the rest of the exercise. Finally I couldn't hold the tears back anymore and started to try to finish it. This last part of the practice was to forgive others but especially myself. I tried but got swallowed up in the emotions of sadness, grief and shame and I couldn't quite figure out how to go forward with the process when I felt a goose-bumpy, energetic-like sensation on my arm like a kind being was trying to comfort me and realizing I don't have to try to do this alone but that I can ask for help so out loud I asked that any beings for my highest good would help me with this process and almost instantly in an unexplainable way I felt strengthened enough to finish the process of forgiving myself. The next thing was to visualize or draw a visualization of being freed of all these things that were holding me back so I drew a quick sketch of cords connecting me to all the things I had written in this entire exercise with a scissors cutting the cords.
The last step was to burn the papers signifying the release and transformation of these negative things and beliefs. I had been crying and didn't want to be seen so I thought of burning them in my sink but I didn't want to set off the fire alarm. I don't have a fire pit and I didn't really want to do it in the yard where I could be seen. After a bit of thinking I went to the furthest corner of my yard with my papers, matches, and a mug of water. Using a fallen stick to keep the paper from blowing away I burned them one by one and I cannot explain the release I felt. It felt almost like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. After it was all burned up I dumped the mug of water on top and then to be sure I came inside and got a half bucket of water to dump on top just to be on the safe side even though it had rained not long before. I felt so much lighter and spent the rest of the evening sitting there enjoying nature. When it was finally almost too dark to see I came inside and noticed that my one rose plant had a new bud. I bent down to admire the bud and picked up the fallen spent flower when something brushed against the plant and I looked down to see what had fallen. It wasn't windy and there was no tree overhead but when I looked there was a small stick. Even though I tried to rationalize it I felt instinctively as though a Sasquatch being had chucked it from behind me to let me know they are near but I felt no sense of fear only love. I didn't turn around to see where it came from. It felt like I already knew and appreciated the gesture. It wasn't until later after I was in bed and the next morning that I actually thought to take a picture of it to see if it's actually real because my logical mind was doubting it. I know what I felt and experienced in my heart and so it is. The stick now rests on the shelf with all my other gifts from nature: feathers, pinecones, leaves and stones.
The next day was a bit rough. It took me awhile to realize that I was in survival mode, frustrated and worrying about money and a source of income. I've been trying to sell some stuff for a while now with no results and it's been extremely frustrating. I'm not sure I even have enough money left for gas till I will be able to get a paycheck. I spent an hour or more looking for jobs online. I struggled with it all day and by the time I went to bed I couldn't find any love in my heart for myself or assurance that everything will work out even though so far I've been able to pay my bills and keep food in my stomach but that has been barely accomplished and I am just so tired of trying to survive and trying to enjoy life without having to worry about income. I realized on an even deeper level than ever before that no matter what job I get I will still hate it even if I try to enjoy it because of the control threading through all of society that I see more and more each day the more I learn and heal.
The place that keeps calling to me is the forest.
In finishing up my GED this day as well I realized even deeper what I really want to do with my life and with summer nearly over and no money to try something new the frustration just grew even more. On top of it I failed the crystal reiki course by 1% because I waited too long in-between finishing my GED and didn't listen to my intuition to rewatch some of the videos to refresh my memory but; as the Sasquatch say,
There's no mistakes, just experiences.
I have learned a lot, I just may not be able to show certification for the people who may feel that they need that evidence. But it doesn't mean I can't practice...some humans might not think so though...
Yesterday I talked with my counselor, telling her about all the things I have been experiencing ending with my huge frustration with my current situation about money and income. She suggested that perhaps that part of me needs some love. While I didn't disagree with her, I was like, that's exactly what the Sasquatch books keep talking about: love yourself, heal yourself and walk in love.
I find it so fascinating how many things in those books line up with things I've been delving into and know from experience and learning such as trauma, reiki, feng shui, IFS, and other things.
After I got off the phone I wasn't sure what to do next with my day except maybe find a way to give my frustrated self some love and while checking YouTube I happened to glance at my subscriptions and see a video for healing ancestral money blocks(survival mode flows down generations through DNA) and wasn't intending to watch it but on second thought I did. I could feel the energy working in my body amidst the tears that flowed. It helped but didn't completely resolve the frustrated survival mode part of me. I then went back to reading the Sasquatch book 3 that I'm halfway done with. I was at the part where the exercises start and take up nearly 1/3 of the book and I had been planning to skip it because, after all, I had just done them not long ago. But again, on second thought I decided to read them again, slowly. One of the first ones is about letting the walls down and letting in the love into the pain that comes from generations of humanity trying to survive and feeling separated from the Source of life and consciousness. I didn't get beyond that section but in the middle of it I realized that being in survival mode is operating from a powerlessness/victim mode where there is no love. It took lots of tears, some time and active intention to let the walls fall down and the love flow in but what a difference I felt! I had love and gratefulness in my heart again. It was a valuable experience...
And as I write this the next day I still feel love and gratefulness despite the fact that I consciously forgot that my crystal reiki attunement happening this morning and I totally missed the opportunity to lie down and experience the energetic attunement. I did cry in disappointment but it happened energetically so it is valid regardless whether I missed it consciously. I accept it and discovered in a follow up email with my course instructor an opportunity to request my certification so I was able get certified after all...
So all in all, I'm excited for the future but I also feel drained. It's been a deep and emotional week of healing and struggle. It has been good. Very good. I accept it all. It has been a very insightful experience. Last night I was sitting out in the yard delighted that the groundhog didn't seem to be afraid of me and watching the rabbits and birds enjoying life when I heard the cardinal singing behind me. I twisted around in the least little bit of movement possible to find that he was sitting mere yards away from me, watching me, and seemingly specifically singing to me with his pretty,pretty song. He was there for about 5 minutes before flying away but it really seemed to be directed right at me in encouragement or praise or perhaps both. I sent him my gratefulness for trusting me to come so close and singing to me. It's beautiful to watch how the interaction with me and the nature world is changing as I heal, grow and learn to walk in non judgment, love and appreciation for all beings.
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