Kashimah, Kamooh, A Meditation Retreat &More Beautiful Experiences
- Sparkling Diamond
- Nov 24
- 16 min read
A lot has happened in the last little bit...there are changes happening inside of me that I'm learning to integrate and navigate. I have mentioned before how I've been seeing a lot of synchrony in numbers, usually when I randomly look at my phone, and when I'd look up the meaning it would usually be about trusting the universe and that positive changes are coming and well, there's been a lot of positive changes lately and one thing leads to another and I feel myself growing and expanding in ways I didn't know were possible.
A week ago we were having a regular Sunday evening channeling session when towards the end some things were said by the one guiding the meeting that made me think it was about money by the words said and I, wanting to understand, asked if he meant that we should go with our heart instead of our mind for financial matters because I, being broke according to my bank account, have been so frustrated trying to figure out what to do and had been told by another channeler that I had chosen these challenges for myself to find my way through them which left me feeling even more frustrated and discouraged than ever. I had given my best and my all to try to figure out how to go forward but my best seemed to be no longer working and I felt stuck between 2 worlds. One was the old paradigm of having to work hard to earn money, and slaving away to make ends meet which I was totally frustrated with because the last several years my health had declined to the point where I couldn't work enough to support myself due to a root canal which is essentially a dead tooth, just like a toe with gangrene, it will slowly kill you. The other paradigm is the one where I really want to be where I can do what I enjoy and money isn't a problem because as I flow through my life journey the money just naturally flows to me. But how to get there had been beyond me and every time I tried to find a job or some way of making ends meet under the old paradigm I could feel my entire being screaming "NO!!!" which left me feeling confused and discouraged.
So I was given links to several individuals that could be helpful and in checking them out I found Brian Scott. I had seen his stuff a while ago but I guess I wasn't ready for it or it seemed too impossible and I had unfollowed him again. This time I felt more ready or at least more open so I subscribed. He had just posted that in a few hours he'd be offering a gift so I decided to see what it is. The next morning I saw it was a free trial to his Reality Revolution community so I joined to check it out. I was overwhelmed at first because so many new supportive people have been coming into my life in the last few months and I just felt like it was bigger than I could let into my life/heart. But I stayed and observed and the authenticity, love and support just rather blew my heart open.
I had never experienced anything like this before and while I was still learning to navigate the community the host of Sunday evening's meeting reached out to welcome me and I discovered he was one of the moderators of this community. From the time I first saw him in the channeling meetings there was something that drew me and while I have a difficult time interacting with men something about his manner/heart helps me feel safe enough so that I was able to share a bit of my struggle and he gave me some guidance which has helped me a lot. Just the feeling of being supported and seen by some of the people that have come into my life lately is doing rather interesting things to my heart.
Thursday evening one of my new friends who is a channeler, brought in the Ancestor Grandmothers and Kashima, an ancient Sasquatch. I wanted to interact so I asked how I can continue to build my relationship with the Sasquatch around me and if that will happen as I learn to know myself on deeper levels? The answer was so gentle and nurturing and as I felt his energy so strong, I felt so much love in my heart for the Sasquatch people. Since I learned about the Sasquatch when I read the Sasquatch Message To Humanity books a while ago I have felt that I can trust them better than I can trust humans and it has been true. This was his message to me in answer to my question:
That is what we do. We come to you when you call us and we help you understand who you are. Your relationship with them will continue to grow as your heart expands and your conversations with them will help you so much. They love you & they see you as you are, not as what others or even yourself sometimes think you are. You are growing quickly. Sit with that growing & that understanding. Talk to them whatever is within you that needs to be expressed, they understand. Your experiences so far have told you that. Remember you are loved & you have value as you & the loving being you are.
Now jumping back to a few days earlier I was so discouraged about my finances that I was crying when suddenly this thought somewhat arrested me in my discouragement about going to the park that's 40 minutes from my house. I thought that maybe it's just a part of me trying to escape the situation, plus I was almost out of gas. I know escaping isn't going to help a situation get better so I asked my guides to help me know what to do because if I really got in the flow of doing what felt right it would be going to the woods and spending time with the forest beings. The next morning when I got up there was a part of me that was saying that we are going to the park no matter what but I was still worried but as I was messaging someone I suddenly felt like I was being shown that I'm holding on too tightly. That I'm afraid of spending money for fear I'm going to run out and therefore I am keeping myself in a little box so I knew that I was going to the park and that the test was to trust that everything will work out.
When I got there, the water was calling me first so I went to honor them with my presence first before climbing up the mountain...
I kept seeing holes and cracks in the trees which kept reminding me of the little people/wee folk...
the moss got so much love...
and the mushrooms...
and all the little growing things...
I even saw a butterfly shaped stone...
I am so in love with that place...the damp cold went through my layers and it was hard to differentiate between the energies and the cold but the most profound feeling was when I was leaving and I was giving all my love,honor, gratitude and respect to the forest and the beings that call it home when I felt myself surrounded with beings that were giving it right back to me...and of course I couldn't help but send so many sparkles of love from my heart to theirs...sit with this next photo if you can for a bit. Can you feel the love and peace that enveloped me when I was there?
A night or two later I was having trouble falling asleep so I wrote a story to go with this photo. This hole was about 1 1/2' above the ground along the edge of the trail.
Once upon a time there was a little fairy who lived on the mountainside. Her house was in a large tree that had a hole near the ground which was her front porch where she loved to sit and watch the forest creatures go about their day. Sometimes they would come and visit with her if she wasn't busy. Her house was right next to a trail and in the summer time lots of people would go by. The humans couldn't see her so she had fun watching them. She could hear their thoughts and see their hearts. Some people were loud and disrespectful. Others were gentle and full of love. Some carried heavy burdens and deep wounds.
One damp and cold day she sensed a human coming up the path. This human was slow enough that the squirrels were not afraid. She had just set up a fresh conifer sprig that her squirrel neighbor had cut out of the tree for her to decorate her little porch along with a few curled up leaves for decoration. She watched this human walk slowly and rest every little bit. Sometimes the human would stop and and go down on her knees and stroke moss gently while so much love radiated from her. Then the human stopped to rest, leaning against a tree.
Suddenly a branch came crashing down a little bit down the hill which set all the squirrel neighbors to scolding. The little fairy watched to see what the human would do. She could tell the human was a bit scared. Slowly concern rose inside of her and the fairy watched as the human went back down the path to see if she could see what fell out of the tree because she was afraid someone had gotten hurt. The fairy knew that one of the forest beings had done it as a sign that they were there and they watched to see what the human would do. When she didn't see anything she came slowly up the trail again.
The fairy could tell that this human loved beauty and details. The fairy wondered if the human would notice her entrance and was delighted when the human stopped to check out her little porch. The human loved what she saw and took a few pictures before moving on up the hill.
After a while the human came back down the trail. The fairy didn't often see humans like this so she decided to follow her down the trail because she was curious and wanted to watch this human who was so kind and gentle with all the forest beings. Other forest beings were following along behind her too. They all enjoyed when this human came to visit. She listened and watched as this human would talk to the beings she saw and sent them love. When the human got near the bottom of the trail she stopped and turned around and bowed to the forest. From her heart radiated love, gratitude and kindness and even though she couldn't see them the forest beings all gathered around her and sent her love and gratitude and kindness too. She watched as the love was soaked up by the human's heart and that the human sensed their presence.
They followed her down to the road where she stopped once again. They all gathered in front of the human to see what she would do next. They could see she didn't want to leave. The human felt so much love for them that she lifted her hands and flicked out her fingers and love flew like glitter and sparkles from her fingertips and showered them all with love like gentle raindrops. Then they watched her turn and walk down the road before they turned to each other and they all knew what the others were feeling, we already miss her they said to each other. I hope she'll come again soon they said as they went back to their spaces. They just wished the human could have stayed a little longer...
On Friday, Saturday and Sunday there was an event by Brian Scott and those who were in the community were gifted free access to the event via zoom. It was new territory for me and I admit I was scared when I saw I was in a crowd of over 200 people on zoom. It helped though to know a few people from the channeling group were there too.
The first day had 3 sessions of meditations. Just the energy and the realization that I actually get to be a part of this made me cry. I have been at a few retreats/seminars in my short lifetime and as I am writing this, I now realize that my system isn't used to so much energy and therefore I am unsure how to handle so much energy at once and it feels overwhelming, though not necessarily in a bad way. I think I need to just allow myself to expand even more and I'll be okay with it.
I had trouble visualizing in the meditations but I felt the energy, so much energy. There were times I felt like I was in the room with everyone else because my higher self actually was. Later I commented in the community saying I didn't see anything but was told that I don't have to see anything, just feel, so that helped a lot.
The second day the energy was even stronger. I could feel it just by being on zoom even if the session hadn't started yet. The first session I felt so much energy in my crown and third eye chakras that at times I wasn't even sure if I was still in my body. It felt like the top part of my head had disappeared or something. The second session was the Bliss Body meditation and I felt so much energy in my body. It took me a while afterwards to come back to my full senses again I felt so out of it. I was doing my best to believe that I could be healed of my physical ailments specifically the horrible sinus drainage and the pain in my shoulders. While it isn't completely gone the pain has diminished by about half and that night I realized that the sinus drainage had been reduced by more than half and I was no longer coughing up as much junk. I also felt like my organs and diaphragm had gotten a deep clean somehow. It was quite an interesting feeling.
Sunday morning, yesterday, I struggled with the sadness of knowing that at this point I can't stay in this beautiful community. Just the love, the authenticity, and the support I felt made me feel like I had found my vibe of people basically. It made it rather hard to enjoy the rest of the sessions. I don't remember much about the first session but the second session was very difficult for me. It was about opening to love and we were supposed to imagining finding our perfect partner and all the details. The romantic part was very difficult even though I tried to do my own version because of all the sexual abuse and trauma I experienced as a toddler before I was 6 years old. I got through it but it left me rather raw. One thing he did say that I found helpful was the phrase "two whole people coming together". I feel the part of me who might want romance and marriage was deeply warped and distorted by what I experienced and has still to be healed but I also realized that the culture I grew up in and society in general seems to see male and female as a half and that marriage is needed to complete the whole. I have found myself rebelling against that subconscious belief over the years but it has still affected me on a deep level that needs to be healed. I just want to be authentically and wholly me.
It was with tears that I cancelled my subscription to that beautiful community. I did try to check my credit card to see if I even had enough by chance to pay the fee but the link wouldn't work and I couldn't figure it out. I was so tired from all the energy and experiences that I decided I needed to go to bed early.
I also knew I wanted to talk to someone to express my experience and while I could have talked to my guides I wanted someone that is more flesh and blood so that meant the Sasquatch because I trust them more than humans at this point and I had to think of the message Kashima gave me a few days earlier. I felt the most comfortable with Kamooh so I asked him if he'd come and let me express myself. As if in answer I felt energy as though I was being supported, held, safe and I began telling him about my experience with the second session and how it made me feel like a part of me was so twisted and deformed because of my experiences as a toddler. As I lay there crying and trying to find words to express what was on my heart I kept feeling energy supporting me, comforting me. I felt my inner child come to the forefront, feeling all confused and bewildered by what she experienced and I turned on my side because it felt safer to let myself cry. When the tears were spent my inner child, still in the forefront, wanted to feel safe strong arms so I said to Kamooh that I don't know if it's ok to ask but I just want to feel safe strong arms. I didn't know what to expect but I began to feel strong energy where my face was touching the pillow and slowly it spread to the rest of my body that was touching the mattress. The energy continued to strengthen until I literally felt like I was being held against a strong chest with strong arms. It relaxed me so deeply that I felt like I was going to fall asleep but I didn't,not yet anyway, and I felt all the sadness, worry and fear dissipate until I felt like my adult self again and I could uncurl my body from the fetal position I had been laying in. I felt so much peace and soon fell into a deep sleep after thanking him for giving me a safe place to express myself and to be held and comforted. It really did leave me feeling whole again and a little bit more healed.
Here's a few more things that have also happened Saturday morning before the sessions started...
The last week or two has been a huge learning experience of learning to trust myself and my intuition. A friend told me how she would pull random books off the shelf for a personal message. It takes me a while to process stuff so after a few days I was finally ok to try it for myself. Some days I get it and other days I'm just puzzled. This was one of those times.
I had a root canal done 8 years ago but it basically destroyed my health. Even though I was able to get it removed in June I know there's still infection somewhere. Antibiotics didn't touch it and I found that oil of oregano helped much better. I stopped taking it awhile ago because routines are a struggle and the pain in my body and sinus problems have been increasing since then.
So Friday out of frustration with the pain I asked what the best thing is that I can do and the answer was the first picture below. I told my guides and higher self that if that is the answer then somehow they need to make it possible for me to obtain Hawthorne berries because that's the berries in the picture.
I had to run to town and decided to get some groceries. One of the first things I saw when I walked into the store was cranberries. I remembered how in a canning group I'm part of someone posted about making their own cranberry juice and I wanted to try it. I decided I'll wait but before I left I ended up grabbing a number of them before checking out.
I come home, put everything away and start washing dishes and suddenly it just hit me. Cranberries are red...and sour...And for awhile after I had that 💡moment I felt so much energy in my crown chakra...thanks to my guides and higher self to helping me understand!🧚♀️💫
On Sunday morning I was getting things taken care of and I asked my future self what would be the next best thing for me to do. I had remembered that I wanted to make a video with my mushroom photos and so it seemed like it was okay to do that next. What was interesting in looking back on this moment was that it seemed like there was a surprise waiting for me which puzzled me until I saw it. I had just checked my phone a few minutes before and had gone to finish up another task and so then being ready to start working on the video I needed to charge my laptop so I plugged it in near the sofa so I could use it there and walked around the coffee table to sit on the sofa and I suddenly realized that someone had been here and dropped a leaf on my phone in the last 5 minutes since I had last looked at my phone. I hadn't been outside yet and there was no way that I accidentally dropped it there. I hadn't heard any noises either. I do admit it was rather unsettling at first till I got over the surprise of having someone else be in my safe space without me knowing but then I knew it was done out of love and I didn't need to be afraid and then the tears flowed and I could fully accept it as a loving gift. Now it sits in my bowl of pretty stones on my coffee table, a place of honor.
So yes, there have been a lot of beautiful expansive experiences this past week and I feel a bit disoriented. It'll just take a little bit to embody all the shifts and changes that happened. One thing I want to mention is that Brian said at one point that listening to one of his videos on YouTube just gives you a little snippet but he structured the event to build upon each other and so I was inspired, for myself, to create a playlist with the same order by finding videos he has on YouTube with similar intent and then putting them in order so that they can build upon each other like he did for the event. I have set it to public so others can also benefit from his work and you can find the playlist here.
Another thing I want to mention is that another person I follow, Anne Tucker, is doing a 40 day Glow Up with the Mother of Creation to help us heal and expand ourselves so we can accommodate more of the beautiful light and love that is being sent our way. The energy is powerful and so healing and if you're interested I have also created a playlist with the series or you can follow her and watch her videos there as well.
Anyway this post is probably long enough and I can't think of anything more at the moment to share so I say thank you to you for taking the time to read and share in my experience. It is a beautiful journey and I love that I get to share it in hope that it can be beneficial to others in some way even if it is just to help them not feel alone in their struggles. I know there's more that could be shared but I expect that to come out in future posts as I continue on my journey.
I send you so much love and light from my heart to yours. I hope you can feel it. Imagine my words being charged with love and light and as you read them feel the sparkles melting into your heart and filling you with love for I am(we all are) an agent of love and this is one way for me of spreading it out to any who read these words. Another way is the songs I write and you can find the latest one here. I wrote it Thursday evening after Kashimah's message to me and the love that I felt overflowing my heart. May you feel the love!🤍
So much love and light to you!🤍🧚✨💎 May your day be blessed and filled with goodness and abundance of every sort of beautiful thing!🏞️🦋
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