It has been hard work over the years to face the darkness and pain inside of me. It doesn't seem to get easier except I find myself more...

Last night I unfollowed a number of people on social media because I cannot handle the pain of the events that they share. For a while now I've been pondering what is the best course of action that I can take regarding all the horrible traumatic things happening around the world and even more so, in this country. There are times I find myself feeling another's hopelessness in their situation. Another's horror at justice gone wrong. Another's fear of what lies ahead. Another's

I am so proud of myself. I never dreamed I'd be able to do as much as I have in the last several days. All of a sudden it looks fun and...

I am so happy! It's been a crazy week with all the decisions, sleepless nights, and all the beautiful things that have been happening...

I was sitting outside drinking my homemade cacao drink and thoroughly enjoying the sunshine when I happened to look down and to my shock there was a bee sitting on my upper thigh as calm as could be like he was my best friend. My first reaction was panic but I didn't want to get stung. I managed to get it to climb on my mug handle to get it off me and it came up to the rim of my mug. Using a dried up leaf, I tried to get it off so it doesn't fall in my drink. It didn't want t

The last month or two has been quite the journey... exciting and full of curiosity but also a lot of moments of fear, worry and anxiety. But I don't regret any of it as I have learned so much and my curiosity just keeps growing...I find myself excited and anticipating good things to come. Before I start describing all the things that I've been learning, exploring and experiencing, I just want to mention that if you are not open-minded and are going to judge and criticize the

I've been trying to sit with the memories and pain but I was also afraid I was retraumatizing myself so this morning I wanted to try to...

It is late but this memory has been weighing heavily on my mind since it came to the forefront last night. I have no idea what triggered it but I was just getting ready for bed and not particularly thinking about any one thing. I know I have briefly mentioned this in another blog post or two and I will spare the gruesome details but proceed at your own risk 🚩for this could be triggering to some...🚩 We had barn cats when I was growing up and we always loved playing with the

Today I did something I've never done before...I had a tea party with all my parts: past, present and future. My heart is full. 🤍

Some of you know that my car has been on its last leg the last month and that I have no way of replacing it when it quits. If you have never been in such a place you will not be able to grasp the direness, stress, and frustration that one will experience in such a situation. Just imagine what it would be like to have your health declining making it impossible to work enough to pay your bills and then you find out that it will cost $4000 to replace your cars engine and you alr

Here is a collection of all the new recipes I tried in January. I had started out creating these recipe posts as a meal to celebrate...

I want to say how much I appreciate the people who genuinely care about me as a person for who I am and those who have invested in my situation. If it wasn't for those people I would not be where I am today. I was just thinking today of how I used to write so much about my healing journey but since I landed in the shelter last October I haven't had much progress to write about, especially about IFS sessions. It seems like ending up in the shelter and the grueling months of tr

What little girl doesn't like a bedroom where she can pretend it's real life? Like being a princess in a castle? I decided that my...

A bit ago I was thinking about perfectionism and the role it has played in my life. I remember different people throughout my life telling me that maybe I'm trying to hard. I find it hard at times when people I work with don't seem to care about their work or they don't seem to care about how their actions affect others. I don't want to be upset with them but I just don't get the mindset. For me, I think perfectionism started when I was still quite young and I saw a plaque in

I've been struggling to figure out what might be of interest to my readers so I'm a bit behind today... even though I'm not done with my...

About a week ago I was trying to figure out what I could put on top of my tree for Valentine's Day that I would like and would also be unique as that's what I prefer over traditional things. I was scrolling on Pinterest and remembered the gnomes I had saved as ideas for something to make for decor. It took me a bit to figure out how I want to go about creating one for a tree topper as I needed to be able to use what I had... I found the cardboard roll I had saved from the pla

This is just an impromptu post because I'm trying to process where I'm at with religion, Christianity in particular...I want to talk about it but this is about the safest space I can think of to try to put my thoughts into words without them just staying stuck inside of me. I'm putting myself out there, and in a way risking myself, to put this out like this. I had someone tell me that the sad part of deconstruction is that people often walk away from Jesus. I don't intend to

This month's food celebration is rather simple. I didn't have the energy to try to do a lot. I made most of these things for yesterday's Christmas Day meal with my friend. It was a delightful time. Eating good food and talking. Opening a few simple gifts under the tree and in the stockings and talking some more. I saw this marinated cheese recipe and thought it sounded good. It is very simple and easy to make except the cream cheese was a bit of a mess and was kind of crumbly

The other day I was looking for hairspray to use for a project after I got done with my shift. At first I got a big bottle of the shelf then I was looking at aloe vera gel because mine is empty but I didn't like all the ingredients in it so I wandered over to the travel size section thinking that perhaps there's a smaller size with less ingredients. What I found instead was a smaller bottle of hair spray for which I was delighted because I only want to use it to stiffen curta

At my job we get a free turkey for Thanksgiving. When I was getting mine my manager said that if I don't have plans that I am welcome to join them. He and his wife had helped me move my furniture when I finally got out of the shelter and they knew that I didn't have family or very many friends nearby, so they wanted to make sure I don't have to spend the holidays alone which I greatly appreciate. It has been a rough few weeks and so I hadn't really considered how I was going