More Rabbit Holes & Bunny Tails
- Sparkling Diamond
- Mar 6
- 19 min read
The last month or two has been quite the journey... exciting and full of curiosity but also a lot of moments of fear, worry and anxiety. But I don't regret any of it as I have learned so much and my curiosity just keeps growing...I find myself excited and anticipating good things to come.
Before I start describing all the things that I've been learning, exploring and experiencing, I just want to mention that if you are not open-minded and are going to judge and criticize the things I'm learning and exploring as bad or wrong, then please give yourself some kindness and peace of mind by not reading further. It will be better for both of us if you didn't read further. One, because you would cause yourself harm by worrying or stressing about it and two, if you were to choose to confront or criticize me negatively it would harm us both. And causing harm to ourselves or others is not a good idea...
I'm going to try to start about where I left off with my last bunny tails post. It's been quite an interesting journey since I wrote that one and I may perhaps miss a few things but that is ok.
What I would like to start with is that I am part of some groups on Facebook that delve into weird things where people can share stories of their weird, abnormal experiences. Some deal with ghosts, spirits, future selves etc. Some have unexplainable things happening as though they shift timelines or as though they are in a simulation. It is said that we are a soul with a body, not a body with a soul and that our minds are much more powerful than we realize. These groups are supposed to be a safe place for people to share their weird stories that they have not dared to share with even some of their closest friends and family members for fear of being seen as crazy. One of those groups are called Matrix Mysteries.
I don't remember if that was the group I saw some of these stories. Some have been random reels that just showed up in my feed. The first thing was a post about how a lady discovered that her plants are actually trying to communicate with her. She loves plants and tells them how beautiful they are etc. every day and one day she was talking to one of her plants and she thought she heard music. It was not her cellphone and the only thing she could think was that it was her plant she was talking to. She reached out to touch it and it shocked her and so she was asking the group if they had any weird experiences with their plants.
The comment section was so interesting with different people's stories and one story in particular stayed in my memory. This individual went to a friend's house. As soon as she entered the door, the plant(palm,I think) yelled to her to ask her friend to move it to a spot closer to the window. At the moment it was sitting next to the TV and the plant complained that the owner has CNN on all day and it's just too loud.😆 As soon as the plant was moved to a better position the plant down the hall called for some water. That was one of the funniest comments to me but it definitely opened my eyes to a whole new world. Another one I think was about how there was someone who watered plants at a business and one day one of the plants went berserk (what that looked like, I don't know,it wasn't elaborated on) and they discovered later that at that moment the plant went berserk was when the waterer had gotten hit(or killed) on the street below.
(A while ago I discovered that there is actually an instrument that measures the electrical current in plants and turns it into music. Some day I'd love to get one and experiment with it on my plants. You can see it here.)
A little later I think, a reel showed up in my feed and it explained how there were studies done on whether plants recognize their owners. It mentioned that after about 3 months after you buy a plant it starts to recognize you. They discovered that in sending an owner away to return the plants could sense when their owner/ caretaker came within 2 kilometers. I found this very fascinating and it made me think that plants are similar to pets; they thrive on love and care just as we all do. Just think how you feel when someone you love heads in your direction....plants probably feel the same. It's changed the way I interact with and care for my plants. They have become like my pets while I can't have the animal pets I've actually been longing for.
Here are a few interesting writings, I think the last one is the video that showed up in my feed:
Back in January, early February, a number of my houseplants died. I felt so sorry for them. I love my plants. I literally found myself grieving their death. It was around the same time I was hearing this stuff about plants and I began to question whether all the stress and anxiety I was having surrounding my car and finances was affecting them. I don't have a definite answer but I'm quite sure it affected them even though I was still trying to care for them. (A comment I saw on one of the above mentioned posts was a lady who said that half her plants died when she became really ill for several weeks and it wasn't because they weren't being cared for. Almost like they sensed her sickness.) Coming to that conclusion, I've been trying to do my best to care for them in positive ways and give them love and affection.
I was telling my therapist about a memory one day of how when I was working at my uncle's greenhouse and for whatever reason he told me I'm not working fast enough. Earlier that day I remember specifically giving some love to a small clematis plant I think. I felt present and I felt tenderness towards this plant as I wrapped it's fragile stem around the small trellis that was in its pot giving it some tender touches. At the moment it was just me and that plant and nothing else mattered. I was telling my therapist about my journey of figuring out what I love to do job wise and as I mentioned being scolded for not working fast enough she said, well, you were so in tune with the plants. It was like a moment of clarification for me. And it now makes sense to me why I've always been drawn to nature and plants. I think that on a subconscious level I've been more in tune with nature than I realized,till now...that moment with that plant is a beautiful memory that has been tainted with negativity for the scolding I got afterwards, till she said that, and now, it's the beautiful memory that stays...I guess because I was seen and acknowledged in that moment with the plant which deleted the negativity out of the memory...
The next thing that I've been trying to figure out is if manifestation is really real. So when I found out my car was on its last leg and not guaranteed to last much longer I took someone else's example to try from the perspective that our voice has power and affects everything around us and so if everything is conscious then perhaps commanding my car to start is going to help it keep going for a little longer. Everytime before I turned the key I commanded the engine to start and to get me safely home again. As weird and ridiculous as it may sound I did this for some time.
At this time I also have a friend in Quebec who we're on similar journeys, tired of living in this matrix where we are slaves to the government and financial systems and we aren't free to just genuinely live life without being controlled. She mentioned her frustration with all the click bait new age videos on YouTube and I began to see it too. I found myself holding things at arm's length and observing whether they resonated with my gut instinct/ intuition and listening to how I felt in my body about things I heard or read. It no longer sat well with me to command my car to start. It actually reminded me of how so often as a Christian I unknowingly tried to manipulate God to give me what I asked for which I didn't see till later even though I know my gut was trying to tell me(in Pentecostal circles). Instead I found myself becoming more and more grateful for daily things that I had taken for granted before. I found myself thanking my car for every time it started. Every hill it climbed without much trouble. When it acted up I found myself encouraging it and telling it it can do it and it would literally stop acting up! This started a habit of gratefulness. I find myself thanking the birds for coming to the feeder and telling them I won't hurt them. I find myself thanking my food for nourishing my body before I eat it. I find myself telling my plants loving things and how beautiful they are. I find myself thanking projects for behaving like I want them to or encouraging them. I catch myself laughing at myself or how funny something looks if I make a mistake or drop something. I find myself expressing appreciation to my projects and creations when I appreciate it's beauty. I find myself giggling as the smallest things that bring me delight that I would not have noticed before. The simplest things have so much beauty from the lichen on a dead twig to a dried up leaf blowing in the wind to how the birds interact with each other. I've literally caught myself one day telling them to be kind when they're trying to chase another away. Yeah, I may be becoming an eccentric recluse who talks to the birds and the plants unlike "normal" society but I daresay that my life will be much more enjoyable and delightful because of it.
(There have been studies done about how our voice affects the molecules around us. And anyone who has suffered unkind words from another person knows just how much of an effect words can have. For some interesting stuff on voice effects, check out these links:
-https://www.aquaphotomics.com/aquaphotomics-study-shows-music-can-change-waters-molecular-structure/
Back to the manifestation subject... being aware of all the new age stuff I tried to sort through it all to find actual evidence of there being a way to manifest that actually works. First I came across a comment on a video about Project 369. I also came across something that led me to what is called the Golden Ratio or the Fibonacci sequence.
Here is some interesting stuff about it:
Then I wondered what music in the Fibonacci scale would sound like. It was another interesting rabbit hole...
Which then led to this music video I tried:
I find it very fascinating that every time I listen to it I feel like I'm lying on a softly vibrating surface and the beats literally feel like someone is softly tapping around on my body, mainly my back. I find it very fascinating as not only does it have an extremely relaxing effect but it also helps me get in tune with my body and get out of my head. It's so fascinating to me!
I also discovered that the Fibonnaci sequence can be applied to one's life so for the fun of it I tried it here. Here is another interesting read on it. The chart gives you dates throughout your life where changes can happen. I have two dates on this year one which was on Tuesday, March 4th, which was the day a kind lady drove an hour to pick me up to drive an hour to the dental walk-in clinic to see if I could get my infected tooth removed only to find out they weren't taking any more clients for the day and there was nothing left to do but to turn around and come back home. The poor lady spent 4 hours on the road just trying to help me out. But as bad as it sucked to still have this tooth in my mouth I have a feeling I may have been protected from something worse, whether it was the experience or the result. I also realized that I was making these decisions out of desperation instead of listening to my intuition. There is another place I've been wanting to go instead that I now plan to make an appointment at. Oregano oil seems to have come to the rescue to heal the infection so it shouldn't be a problem to wait till a later date. So we'll see, maybe something awesome will yet happen within the next 30 days. Then I have another date for this fall as well and it doesn't seem unreasonable to me to think that that might be the time when I buy my own property. It's possible from my perspective anyway...
I forgot to finish on the topic of manifestation...in my search for understanding if manifestation is real I came across this guy. What he says here made sense to me. In all the videos I watched and things I read it all seemed to boil down to this:
-live as though you already have it
-live as though you have everything you need right now
In doing so you raise your vibration in that you operate out of an abundance mindset instead of a scarcity mindset. I'm very aware that I have (had) a scarcity mindset and have always been expecting the worse to happen. Researching Project 369 and what people said about it seemed to boil down to 369 being magic numbers and that the best practice for manifesting is living as though you already have it and then writing out what you want to manifest as in money or some other thing you might need. The goal is to write it out 3x in the morning, 6x in the afternoon, and 9x before you go to bed for 9 days and most importantly feeling what it would feel like to have and enjoy that thing you are trying to manifest. Some people say to speak it but then others say writing it down is already making it more concrete. Whether it works or not I guess I will find out. The 9th day is on Sunday, 3 more days. And if you aren't aware of my situation, I'm basically stuck at my house with a car that's done for and I have no way to replace it right now so you may very well guess what I may be trying to manifest. With all this manifesting in mind, I found myself making a pretty keychain (with embroidery floss and some pretty pebbles I've collected over the years) the other day to put on my new vehicle keys whenever it comes into my life.
(I had some pretty photos to upload but my data is used up till Sunday so I guess no pretty pictures this time)
I had been so distraught over my dire situation. I felt it was imminent that I had to start selling everything I have so I can hopefully gather enough funds together to get a vehicle. I didn't know what else to do. After my therapy session last week, I was told that I shall go sit outside with bare feet to ground and decompress because we talked about so many heavy things in our session. I think it was kind of the turning point because when I came inside an hour later my therapist called saying that she found an organization that said they can help but they wanted to talk to me personally. Long story short, that connection connected me with the lady who took me to the dentist on Tuesday but she also happened to be the same family who used to drive Mennonites around in my community when I was growing up. Kind of interesting that I keep crossing paths with them as I met her husband several years ago at another event. It's been triggering though because they try to bring God/ Jesus into the situation and that's not what I need help with!
Also last week I came across another interesting post in one of my groups. This time it was about communicating with pets and again, some of the comments were hilarious. One person had a deaf cat and one sunny day she thought the cat might like to go lay on the porch in the sun but was instead laying under the table in a patch of sunlight. So she sent the cat a picture of the sunny porch as an invitation to the cat to go out on the porch. The cat looked at her in shock then got up and went and lay in the sunlight on the porch. Another person would let her cats out and they would eventually come back. One time one cat didn't so she "went" to the cat and asked her to come home now. The cat was surprised but showed up at the door 5 minutes later. Overall people said that their pets were delighted when they realized they could communicate with their humans in this way. Also in the comments was a link to a video and I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch it at first but I did and was amazed at the story that unfolded and watching animal communication in action, this time with a black panther who would snarl at everyone and only stay in his shelter. You can find it here if you are interested.
This opened up another interesting aspect that I totally never dreamed of. Across several back yards from my back yard is a pasture with two ponies and a horse. From the day I moved in I wished I could pet them and be in their presence but it wouldn't be right for me to go there without permission. So as I was sitting in my back yard after my therapy session, I wondered what it would be like to be able to communicate with them from my back yard. I've been coming across so many stories lately about how smart and wise and amazing animals can be. Whether it is the woman who works with horses ( Channeled by Chloe on Instagram and Facebook) or videos of people having conversations with their dogs using talking buttons to now these stories of people being able to communicate with animals. I have wished for some time now that I could communicate with animals, especially the birds, and tell them I'm safe and won't harm them. I hadn't gone searching for any information yet as I think I was still digesting the possibility of it, but after telling my therapist about it she sent me a link for free resources about getting started with communicating with animals. So it's a very fascinating subject I would like to dive into eventually but the time hasn't felt quite right yet.
All this time off work has given me the space to clear out my brain as there are supposedly people looking for a vehicle for me so I don't have to worry about that and with the infection disappearing I am feeling a little better and more like myself. Now and then I'd search for videos about energy healing and about two weeks ago I came across Qigong which is Chinese energy healing, stuff that has been kept sacred and secret for thousands of years but finally some people are making it available to the public. In my mind, I'm thinking that if my chakras are blocked then it would be healing to unblock the chakras so the energy can flow like it's supposed to, so I decided to try this one. The fascinating thing was that one of the steps was massaging at the base of your skull on either side of the spine and he said this would help with dizziness, nausea, etc. and when I did that, the slight dizziness that had been plaguing me the last while (due to stress I think) disappeared! I try to do this one at least once a day and most of the time I can feel the energy flowing through my arms and body. It's a really interesting feeling. Another one I tried was this one and the energy was really strong in my arms. Then with my infection there were times that my neck was itchy for no apparent reason and it made me wonder if my lymphatic system was overloaded so I've been incorporating some of these steps into my exercise to help support my lymphatic system. I just find this energy stuff so fascinating!
Of course, I wanted to go down the rabbit hole and see if there's different energy practices besides Qigong despite the fact that I've already had good results...my neverending curiosity I guess...anyway I noticed this guy that kept showing up on my searches about energy but his thumbnail seemed a bit weird so I had not yet watched his content so I finally decided I'd give it a try. I like to read the comments so I know if it's worth continuing to listen and the comments were amazing which helped me be more open to what he was doing. I learned that what he does is reiki healing which is energy healing. I wasn't sure what to expect but I think I can say it's been life changing. I watched videos that seemed to be something I might need. I found myself shivering even though I wasn't cold, I cried, and I especially felt the energy moving in my body. I felt lighter and a lot of relief; yawning and sighs. And I definitely am not so worried about how my situation will turn out. I am able to go about my day and be very creative. Yes I get bored being stuck at home but I love when its nice and I can go outdoors and enjoy nature. When I talked to my therapist on Monday she said that I sound like a different person. Lol, I really do feel like a different person. At almost any given moment I can feel the energy moving through my body. There's times I feel twinges of grief, fear and worry about my situation but that's normal. The nice thing is that it's not consuming me anymore. I'm able to enjoy and delight in the beautiful present moments of my life.
On a side note, one day I was watching some videos. One was the guy with the whiteboard and spray bottle to clean it(the link is somewhere in here) and as I was just watching and digesting what he was saying he picked up the spray bottle and sprayed it on the whiteboard to clean it. I noticed I smelled Windex and thought that's weird. I looked around but I hadn't used any in a long time and my bottle is under the bathroom sink so there's no way that it was from me. I was surprised but fascinated. Later I was watching another video that had a crackling bonfire in it. Lo and behold, part way through the video I smelled smoke from a campfire. This time I knew it was the video, almost as if I was there. I find it fascinating. I've heard a lot about clairvoyance and other clairs so I'm open to the fact that I have some gifts that have not yet been able to develop due to the religious cultures I've been in throughout my life... fascinating stuff indeed!
I've never really been into money manifestation videos but this guy has a few, including this one, and due to the situation I find myself in I decided it won't hurt to give it a try. Plus it would be a bonus if there is some blockage surrounding my scarcity mindset that could be removed and it would help me. So I watched it Friday night before going to bed. Numerous people had left positive comments so it seemed probable that money might also show up for me lol. Well, the next day I was preparing for running errands with my friend who offered to take me and when I checked my bank account I noticed my tax refund had come in so I would be able to cash that. I had been hoping for it but wasn't expecting it quite so soon. Then in my mail from my post office box were 2 paychecks as well which was totally unexpected. I've watched a few more of his money/ success videos and the latest thing that happened unexpectedly was selling an item on eBay that was the equivalent of working a day and a half at my one job which was a very nice surprise!
Occasionally he also mentions how he once didn't know what to do or have a purpose in life but he put himself out there and found something he can do to help others and he has a very positive abundant mindset but not fake positivity which has been very encouraging to me. The thing that stands out to me the most is that his intention to help is pure and I can feel the love radiating from him once I got past some of the things that seemed weird to me, for example, his way of talking...
With this time at home I've been seeing what things in my life don't seem to fit very good anymore, like my grocery store job... I've told several people that I don't think I will cry if I end up losing it. I've been wanting to quit for some time now but just hadn't felt ready or able to make the jump. Now I don't really care. Somehow I feel like everything will work out. Even the pressure/need to sell my few belongings has disappeared but has gotten me to consider if the things I have will serve me in my future which leaves me still with some things I want to get rid of. I've also found myself really thinking about what I want my future to look like. I know that nature will be the biggest part of all in many ways. In ways of helping people, I see herbs and energy in several ways being a huge part of that. What better way to use my time now to learn what I can and prepare for when I can put these things into practice? So I'm working on my next lesson of my alternative health consultant course. I've seen how powerful reiki and Qigong has been in the last few weeks of improving my life. I also am working on planning herb, tea, and garden beds and what I want to grow and with that sage comes to mind. I still remember as a young child when I first saw a sage plant in my mom's flowerbed and how fascinated and drawn to it that I felt. I'm guessing I was between 6-8 years old. And every time I see it I feel drawn to it and can't wait till I can have a spot for a few sage plants in my garden. It is a plant that has a lot of herbal uses but also has had spiritual significance in different cultures for hundreds of years. I'm fascinated and curious about why I feel so drawn to it. Maybe one day I will know.
A rabbit hole that I have not yet gone down is portals. It was mentioned to me that on last Friday, Feb 28, 7 planets aligned and supposedly a portal opened. I have not delved into the stories surrounding this but I was disappointed that it was cloudy because I really wanted to see them in the night sky. It's just interesting that this positive shift in me through the reiki and Qigong happened at around the same time. I really do feel like a different person in a good way... which leads to another rabbit hole I want to go down: reiki. I was sent this link this morning and was so excited when I saw there's even reiki for animals! I can totally see myself as this little fairy like lady that lives in the woods and uses herbs, energy and reiki to create safe places and heal all who come to her from the wild animals to the humans and their pets...and if you happen to look away she might just sprout wings and disappear...🧚
Anyway this has gotten quite long but if you stuck with me this far, thank you! I hope you got something helpful out of this and maybe your curiosity has been stirred as well... having an open mind is definitely better than a closed mind and I definitely never dreamed of ending up where I am today! It definitely does make the journey more fun I'd say! Thank you for your time and attention. And those who have been so kind and supportive as I explore my journey I just want you to know you are greatly appreciated. Thank you for your kindness and support. I am so grateful for you.
Ps. I forgot to mention that this video also helped shift my mindset about my situation...
Another thing I found interesting and wanted to mention was that I had a dream one night about a week ago and in the dream I was trying to get mold off a loaf of bread. For some reason I was using my mouth but then when I tried to rinse the mold out of my mouth the water disappeared leaving the mold taste in my mouth. I then woke up with a weird flavor in my mouth thinking perhaps my body is telling me my infected tooth is moldy. The next day I got some leftover lentil shepherds pie out of the fridge knowing it's close to its expiration date. At first glance it looked ok but when I went to take a bite I realized it was moldy lol. I think my dream was warning me that my food was going to be moldy before I put it in my mouth. Just another interesting thing that happened lately...
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