Last week someone sent me these words when I needed to hear them because I have been feeling so pressured to "fit in a box" (which doesn't work for me)... "You sparkle, just by being YOU! 🌟 ...It's just been that too many people have been so stuck in their "boxes" of conformity... they miss the magnificence of those who are sparkly stars. And, sadly, they live in the dull world of conformity to errant beliefs and near sighted "judgement. But YOU...Just keep on Sparkling..

This past weekend was horrible. I had things I wanted to do but I didn't get any of it done... Friday I went to work and took a picture of the schedule and noticed that I was scheduled for 5 hours instead of the 4 I had told them that I could do. I went to the manager and told him that I am unable to work an extra hour at this point and I don't know why I'm scheduled like that. He replied that it's ok to work just 4 hours, that he'll talk to the other manager that did the sch

Edit: I had taken this down because I was unsure whether I really should post it but decided to repost it in its rawness...

Implicit memories and flashbacks are no respecter of present situations or whether you feel safe or not...They are like demanding teasers sa

Also now that I'm here and getting used to the sights and sounds, I am reminded of the group homes that I've been in in the past.

Graduating from school at 8th grade, the future looked extremely dark. All I could see was that there would now be no escape from my parents

And I keep hearing my dad's voice "It's just all in your head!" A phrase I often heard when I wasn't feeling well....

If anger consisted of gooey globs, I'd be flinging it at quite a number of people right now. And...I guess I wasn't expecting to receive s

Two things have been coming to mind lately: 1. I have been copying recipes off Pinterest to fill my recipe box with healthy recipes so that I can hopefully combat the overwhelm when it comes to cooking and trying to find a recipe for which I have all the ingredients. As I was writing I kept remembering a time when I was still quite young and looking at recipes in old Country Women magazines and thinking about how good some of them look and I can still hear my dad saying that

Pretty gruesome, isn't it? I don't know what color pain is but I know how it feels. It is heavy. It hurts. Sometimes...

Where does this pressure come from? From people's good intentions. Friends implying their opinions. My own internal dialogue from...

Aggression dressed up in a pretty package is like poison in a relationship. We may be unaware of our passive aggression but we are still...

Be brave. Be strong. Be courageous. Fight for yourself. You are worth it.

When you trust someone and they "flip" on you as in saying one thing and then changing it later it undermines and cripples your trust...

There's been something niggling at the back of my mind the last several days and I have been slowly able to put words to it and tonight I was able to paint a picture of what it feels like. First I noticed that I felt like I had to hoard food which was triggered by trying to give my housemate space to deal with her triggers by staying upstairs while she's home, meaning that if I didn't make sure I had food upstairs when I had a chance I would go hungry. I ate when I wasn't hu

...because she wasn't sure He would actually show up and help her in her pain and need.

It's hard to ask for help. Especially when one isn't sure what they need.

What she is trying to do is protect me from more pain, more heartache, more invalidation by those close to her that she dares to share her c

Today is one of those days that are really out of sorts. It could be triggered by any number of things. Two of the culprits may be the dreams I had the last 2 days. The third one be a conversation I had with a friend last night...and there could be more that I'm not aware of... Yesterday morning my dream was schoolwork related. From what I can remember it started with me helping a mom who lost connection with her young school age daughter as I worked as a maid for her. Part w

See this beautiful young girl? Her name is Careful Protector. She is feeling shy and would rather be hiding amongst the trees instead of out in the open where she can be seen. She was willing to let me paint her picture even though it was hard for her to be so vulnerable. I met her last night in therapy session with my IFS therapist friend. Now that I finally got to meet her, I realize I've seen her so often. I just didn't know who she was and her actions often frustrated me.